My partner and I have been together for over two years. We have a great relationship and wonderful sex. Recently, my partner expressed interest in having a threesome or sex with another couple. He said he really enjoys the sex we have together but thought it would be fun to spice things up. Although it sounds intriguing I'm rather apprehensive... what am I to do?
Answer:
Well you've seen it in pornos, movies, read about it, maybe even dreamed about it and now it's your chance to take place in a threesome or foursome hell even a tensome but what are you to do? Do you know proper etiquette? How do you make sure you are okay with what is going on?
Be honest with yourself
Make sure you take the time to ask yourself if this is something that you really want. DO NOT do anything that you are not comfortable with. Going into something that you are apprehensive about is not going to end well and someone is going to get hurt.
Lay down the ground rules... and stick to them
Have a discussion and let your partner know what you are comfortable with for yourself and for them. Are you comfortable with penetration with this third person or are you sticking to oral? Do you want to watch or be involved? Who do you want involved men, women or both? Do you want it to be someone you know or a totally random hookup? Basically, figure out how far you want each other to go. Make sure to be specific, don't assume that your partner should know what you would want.
What happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom
If this is supposed to be purely sexual then make sure you set that as one of your rules. You are just having sex not going out to dinner or talking on email or having long conversations about life. Keep all activity in the bedroom unless both partners agree to something else.
Too many penises and not enough hands
It's easy to get carried away when you are in the middle of it. There can be penises, vaginas, hands, toys, mouths all over the place. Just remember that everyone is there to get in on the action. Don't be selfish and steal all the sexy time, make sure that everyone is in on the fun in some way.
You are not a porn star
Now matter how awesome you think you are you are not a porn star. Let's keep things in perspective you probably are not going to be able to please ten people simultaneously and last for fifteen hours while orgasming too many times to count (If you are able to... call me). Your first time at this is probably going to be awkward. Also, if this is something that you have always wanted to do your expectations might be a little too high.
I know I sound like a broken record but communication is key here. You need to talk about ground rules before and discuss after the deed as well. What did you like? What did you not like? Do you want this to happen again? Make sure that you are honest and open and it can be a lot of fun. Remember this can only work if everyone involved is having a good time. Make sure you are aware of what you AND your partner is enjoying. HAVE FUN!
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