Wednesday, December 30, 2009

More sexy times to come....

Hello everyone.

Just wanted to let you know that more sexy times and conversations are to come after the new year. Please send in your questions to and they will be answered in 2010.

Have a very sexy new year,

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Is wetter better?

A lot of my friends use lube and I have never used it? I guess I don't need it is this weird? Should I use it?

Do I need it?
Your body as part of the sexual response cycle creates it's own lubricants. During arousal the vaginal walls secrete fluids to lubricate the vagina decrease friction during penetration. Some women create enough lubricant and some women don't. It doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you. Some people just like lube to enhance pleasure with better slipping and sliding.

What kind should i use:
There are three different kinds of lubricats water-based, silicone-based and oil-baed. If you use condoms ALWAYS use a water based lubricant. Each of these has their advantages and disadvantages,however water-based lubes are by far the most popular. Some popular ones in the market are: KY jelly, Astroglide, Maximus and Wet.

What is a no no?
Never use oil based lubricants with condoms. Never use petroleum jelly (li.e. Vaseline), baby oil, hand or body lotions, cooking oils (i.e. Pam), etc... Within seconds the oil breaks down the latex and will cause the condom to break. So unless you are looking for an STI or to get pregnant stay away from the oils.

You can get most of the popular lubricants like KY at your drugstore or grocery store but if you are looking for a better selection of slippery merchandise try a sex toy store or "adult store." As always have fun and happy lubing.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Plan B: Where can I get me some of that?

When am I supposed to take Plan B and where can I get it?

Plan B is a form of emergency contraception also know as "the morning after pill." It is NOT the abortion pill.

Time is of the essence
Plan B can be taken up to 120 hours after you had unprotected sex or your birth control failed (i.e. condom broke). The sooner you take it the more effective it is but it can be taken up to 5 days after (120 hours).

How does it work?
Plan B is made up of the same hormones as in birth control pills. Just like birth control pills Plan B prevents ovulation. The hormones also prevent pregnancy by thickening a woman's cervical mucus, which blocks sperm and keeps it from joining with an egg. Plan B also thins the lining of the uterus which would prevent a fertilized egg from being able to implant and attach to the uterus.

Where can I get me some?
Plan B can be purchased at your pharmacy. You have to ask the pharmacist for it but if you are over the age of 17 you should be able to get it, if you are under the age of 17 then you need a prescription from your doctor. The price ranged from $10-$70 depending on where you get it but averages around $40-$50.

*** Plan B is called Plan B for a reason ... there are a lot of Plan A's that you can use: don't have sex, condoms, birth control pills, diaphragm, IUD, sponge etc... Plan B is not and should not be taken as your only form of birth control. If you are concerned about becoming pregnant please see a doctor and discuss your birth control options, BE PROACTIVE!

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Yeasty Cha Cha

I heard that you can get a yeast infection from wearing tight jeans is this true?

In a one word answer... kinda....

What is a yeast infection?
Yeast Infection (Candidiasis) is a fungus that likes to grow in moist warm areas (i.e. your vagina).

What's going on down there?
Let's think of the vagina as a delicate eco system. It is best when it has a certain pH. Yeasts are found in the vagina normally but can overgrow if the eco system in the vagina changes. Kind of like when your lawn grows crazy after a good rain.

One of the most common symptoms is a vaginal discharge that resembled cottage cheese. Usually there is itching and irritation in and around the vagina. Some women report that they may have pain with sex or it burns when they pee.

There are many over the counter treatments such as gels, creams, inserts etc... Which may help with the itching and burning but if the vaginal discharge lasts for more than 1 week, CALL YOUR DOCTOR!

What about my pants?
Wearing tight pants increases the warmth and makes it a really good place to grow bacteria. People that wear spandex or pantyhose all the time might experience the same thing. Now I am not saying if you wear tight jeans expect a yeasty suprise in the morning just be mindful to let your vagina breath every once in awhile. Take it out for a walk get some fresh air... feel the breeze on your cha cha

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Fore-skins and seven years ago....

Why do some people prefer having sex with someone with foreskin? Does it really feel better?

Well first let's take a look at the anatomy of the foreskin. What is it's purpose?

The foreskin is a layer of skin that covers the head of the penis. The outside of the foreskin is much like a continuation of the skin of the shaft of the penis. But the underside of the foreskin is a mucous membrane like the inside of your mouth or your eyelids. If you have never seen an uncircumcised penis... picture it like a circumcised penis wearing a turtle neck.

As far as it being more pleasurable? Well it depends who you ask. When you have your foreskin intact you have more "gliding action." The foreskin moved up and down during intercourse or masturbation. Okay try this out..... put your finger on your eyelid and move the eyelid around... feel how smoothly is glides to and fro??? Many doctors believe that the foreskin is important and increases the pleasure and comfort of both parties involved because of the gliding action and that it reduces vaginal dryness. Many uncircumcised men claim that sexual activity is much more pleasurable for them (and their partners) due to their increased sensitivity and the added friction of having foreskin.

Just a side note that just because you have foreskin does not mean that you are going to be a sex god. It's all about technique and communicating with your partner(s) your wants and needs.

Just like the vulva all penises are unique and different. Everyone enjoys different kinds of stimulation no matter if you are wearing a turtle neck or not. As always have fun!

Friday, December 11, 2009

BC for BF'ers (Birth Control for Breastfeeders)

My wife is thinking of getting the 3yr Implanon birth control. Forums on the web tell horror stories of mood swings, bruising, weight gain, etc etc. She is bad a taking the pill, so what are the other alternatives? Also, her doctor says this is the only thing she can take right after a baby. So what are the other options? Could always go condoms. If we do that, which are the most natural feeling for both she and I?

There are a few options besides implanon that could work for her. Birth control methods that contain progestins are compatible with breastfeeding and are a safe option. You want to stay away from anything with estrogen.

Diaphragm & Cervical Cap
The diaphragm and cervical cap are both viable options if she isn't into taking hormonal methods of birth control. They are a dome or cap made out of latex that covers the cervix. You need to get sized by a healthcare provider and you insert them into the vagina before having sex. These methods are used with spermacide.

Barrier Methods (i.e. condoms)
Condoms are always an option but if you don't love the glove there are other options. Try some different brands and materials and see if you like them. Try polyurethane condoms or lambskin condoms.

Implanon are matchstick sized rods that inserted under the skin by a health care provider. They can last up to 3 years.

Depo Provera Shot
The birth control shot (Depo) is a shot that is given every 3 months by a health care provider.

Mini Pill
The mini pill is a birth control pill that you take daily. If your wife has trouble remembering to take the pill then this is probably not the best option.

IUD (Intrauterine Device)
An IUD can be used by women who are breast feeding. Usually doctors may wait 6 weeks after giving birth so the uterus returns to its pre-pregnant state. Either IUD is considered safe for breast feeding women Mirena(Progestin) or ParaGard(Copper T). An IUD is a T-shaped device that is inserted in to the uterus by a health care provider. Mirena is effecctive for 5 years while in and ParaGard is effective for 12 years while in.

If you aren't interested in having any more kids why not explore having a vasectomy. (Only if you are absolutely sure you don't want any more kids).

Still confused? Planned Parenthood has a great resource to help you choose a method CLICK HERE

***Remember that above all you need to discuss your options with your healthcare provider and figure out what works best for you.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Aunt Flow is MIA

I didn't get my period but I took two pregnancy tests and both said they were negative and I am on birth control... could I still be pregnant?

If you have taken two negative tests and you have no reason to believe your birth control has failed (i.e. you take your pill everyday without missing) then there is very little chance that you may be pregnant.

There are a number of reasons someone can have a late period or skip one all together. Take a look at your cycle... are you normally pretty regular? Have you missed before? What type of birth control are you on? Have you had any changes in your life recently?

Birth Control:
Some birth control pills make you have lighter periods and some you may not have your period at all. This is most common with progesterone methods like Depo Provera shots, Nuva Ring, or the mini pill and is common and seen as a benefit.

Stressed Out:
If you change your schedule (i.e. start working night shifts) or if you are going through a really stressful situation you can miss a period as well. This is a double edged sword because if you are stressed out and then stressed about not getting your period you won't get it.

When people fluctuate in weight gain and weight loss they can miss as well. If you have lost a significant amount of weight or are anorexic then you may experience amenorrhea which is a stopping of your period. Excessive exercise can also change your cycle.

There are other physical or medical condition (like your thyroid) that may be the reason for you missing your period but the golden rule is that if you are not pregnant and you are otherwise felling okay and generally healthy then try not to worry too much about it. If you have missed two or three cycles then I would recommend seeing your gynecologist so they can figure out what is going on. Most importantly try and stay calm and relax and you may just be surprised if Aunt Flow shows up unexpected.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Asking Anal

I am with a new partner and she doesn't want to have anal sex. My previous parter loved it and so did I. How can I convince her to have anal sex?

Many people enjoy anal sex, but some people want nothing to do with it. So how can you convince her that anal is the bees knees?

Talk it over
Most importantly have a conversation about it. Why exactly is she giving the back door a no go? Is she nervous? Afraid it will hurt? Is it an out hole policy? Find out why she doesn't want to and if she is adamant about it then you need to respect her wishes. A successful sexual relationship involves trust and respect. Forcing someone or convincing someone is not the right way to go.

If she is into it but just nervous here are a few things that you can try

Practice before the big game
Pre-game is important. It gives your partner a chance to see if she is into anal play and it will allow her to become more comfortable. It may also peak her interest in anal sexIf she is nervous whether or not she will like it try working in some anal action into your sexual repertoire. Try rubbing, touching or even kissing the anal area. If she is enjoying all of this try inserting a finger, maybe a sex toy and work up to the penis.

Make sure to always use lube during anal sex or anal play. Unlike the vagina the anus does not produce lubrication or relax with arousal. You will need to lube up the penis (condom) and the anus. Make sure to choose a water-based lubricant like Astroglide or KY.

No backsies frontsies
NEVER put anything into the vagina that has been in the anus it will cause an infection. You can go from the vagina to the anus but not anus to vagina. This includes mouth, fingers, sex toys, anything. Always change condoms as well.

Try the reach around
Remember how good the reach around is for vaginal sex and stimulating the clitoris? This can be applied here too (For MSM you can reach around to the penis). Also doggie-style is not the only position that anal sex can be performed. Try different position and find out what is most comfortable for you and your partner.

Wrap it up
If you use condoms you should use them here to. No you are not going to get pregnant but there is an increased chance of creating small tears in the anus and this makes it easier to transmit STI's and infections.

Make sure to always stay in communication with your partner and check in to see how she is doing. Go slow and if she wants to stop...STOP! Remember have fun and be safe.

Note: This is the same for anal sex between two men or between two women.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Condom Conundrum

Are there any other condoms that you can use besides latex? I heard of the lamb one but that grosses me out.

There are a few types of materials that condoms are made out of and yes lambskin is one of them.

Lambskin condoms are made from the intestinal membrane of a lamb (This is one of the oldest ways to make condoms). Lambskin are effective in protecting against pregnancy however they ARE NOT effective for STI protection. Lambskin condoms have small pores that the viruses can pass through; however sperm cannot pass through. They claim have a "more natural" feel than latex and polyurethane no research on polyisoprene is out yet. They are also considered "eco-friendly" because unlike the other types of condoms they are biodegradable. They are more expensive than latex condoms. Trojan NaturaLamb Condoms and Kling-Tite Naturalamb Condoms are two brands that are available.

Polyurethane condoms are thinner and stronger than latex. They also transfer heat better than latex for a more natural feeling. Polyurethane are available in men's and women's condoms. They are more expensive than latex condoms but offer comparable pregnancy and STI protection. Durex-Avanti Polyurethane and Trojan-Supra Non-Latex are two brands that are available.

Polyisoprene is the newest condom on the market and is good for people who have latex or polyurethane allergies. They have a feeling similar to latex. They are more expensive than latex condoms but offer comparable pregnancy and STI protection. LifeStyles-SKYN and Durex-Avanti Bare are two brands that are available.

So which is best for you?
Depends on what your need is. Are you looking for just pregnancy protection... any of the above would work. Remember lambskin does not protect against STI's. Try a few of them out give them a whirl and see which ones are best for you and your partner(s).

Friday, December 4, 2009

Threesome Etiquette

My partner and I have been together for over two years. We have a great relationship and wonderful sex. Recently, my partner expressed interest in having a threesome or sex with another couple. He said he really enjoys the sex we have together but thought it would be fun to spice things up. Although it sounds intriguing I'm rather apprehensive... what am I to do?

Well you've seen it in pornos, movies, read about it, maybe even dreamed about it and now it's your chance to take place in a threesome or foursome hell even a tensome but what are you to do? Do you know proper etiquette? How do you make sure you are okay with what is going on?

Be honest with yourself
Make sure you take the time to ask yourself if this is something that you really want. DO NOT do anything that you are not comfortable with. Going into something that you are apprehensive about is not going to end well and someone is going to get hurt.

Lay down the ground rules... and stick to them
Have a discussion and let your partner know what you are comfortable with for yourself and for them. Are you comfortable with penetration with this third person or are you sticking to oral? Do you want to watch or be involved? Who do you want involved men, women or both? Do you want it to be someone you know or a totally random hookup? Basically, figure out how far you want each other to go. Make sure to be specific, don't assume that your partner should know what you would want.

What happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom
If this is supposed to be purely sexual then make sure you set that as one of your rules. You are just having sex not going out to dinner or talking on email or having long conversations about life. Keep all activity in the bedroom unless both partners agree to something else.

Too many penises and not enough hands
It's easy to get carried away when you are in the middle of it. There can be penises, vaginas, hands, toys, mouths all over the place. Just remember that everyone is there to get in on the action. Don't be selfish and steal all the sexy time, make sure that everyone is in on the fun in some way.

You are not a porn star
Now matter how awesome you think you are you are not a porn star. Let's keep things in perspective you probably are not going to be able to please ten people simultaneously and last for fifteen hours while orgasming too many times to count (If you are able to... call me). Your first time at this is probably going to be awkward. Also, if this is something that you have always wanted to do your expectations might be a little too high.

I know I sound like a broken record but communication is key here. You need to talk about ground rules before and discuss after the deed as well. What did you like? What did you not like? Do you want this to happen again? Make sure that you are honest and open and it can be a lot of fun. Remember this can only work if everyone involved is having a good time. Make sure you are aware of what you AND your partner is enjoying. HAVE FUN!

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Does size matter?

In America we seem to have the mentality that bigger is better. We super size everything! But is bigger necessarily better? Well it depends who you ask. The people who are most concerned about size are guys. Think about the locker room or at urinals... have you taken a peek to see how you size up? Have you ever broken out the ruler to check out if you are above average? I'm sure you have. Just to put things in perspective when you type the word "average" into google the first thing that pops up is "average penile length."

So what is average?
The average erect penis length is 5.8 inches (base to tip). The average flaccid or non erect penis is 3.43 inches base to tip.

What's the vagina think of all this?
The vagina is a pretty adaptable thing and can comfortably accommodate both large and small penises with the same relative degree of comfort. The secret to pleasing your partner has less to do with penis size and more about the "motion of the ocean." Try different positions try different depths of thrusting. Now... if you are swinging a monster dong below your knees then you may have some difficulties.

Get your head (the one above your shoulders) in the game?
Anxiety is a horrible thing. If you are worried about your penis size, sex is not going to be fun. If your partner is not complaining then chances are that they don't care. As long as you both are having a satisfying sexual experience that's all that matters. Stop worrying about your size and concentrate on your technique.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

It's easy as B-C-P, 1-2-3

I'm on the mini pill and I'm not getting my period. Is this normal?

First off let's take a look at what birth control pills (BCP's) are. Most BCP's contain two types of synthetic female hormones (estrogen and progestin). These pills are called combo pills. Some examples combo pills are Ortho Tri-Cyclen, Yasmin, Yaz. There is another type of pill, which you are taking, that is made with only one hormone (progestin). This is called the progestin only pill or the mini pill.

Why take the mini pill?
The mini pill is prescribed when women dislike some of the side effects associated with estrogen. They can also take progestin only pills when they are nursing a child unlike the combo pills. Progestin only pills aren't as popular because there are other progestin only birth control methods such as Depo Prvera shots and IUD's (Intrauterine devices).

How do BCPs work?
BCP's work by stopping the development and release of eggs in the ovary (ovulation). It also helps prevent the sperm from reaching the egg (fertilization) by changing the lining of the uterus and thickening the cervical mucus. Think of it like trying to run in sand... it's a lot harder than running on land.

So why am I not bleeding?
The pill causes more regular and lighter periods and sometimes hardly any bleeding at all. This can present as spotting and you may not even have to wear a pad or a tampon. As long as you are taking your pill regularly then this can be a normal side effect...enjoy!

Side note: If you want to try a different method of birth control or you find yourself missing pills please talk to your gynecologist about your options. There are pills, patches, rings, and IUD's. Talk to your doctor and find out what works best for you. Just because you have always taken the pill doesn't mean that it is what is best for you.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

No orgasm with penetration? Become an explorer!

Do all women can experience orgasm from penetration?

In a one word answer...No. But please let me elaborate for you.
Let me throw a few statistics out at you...
10-20% of women never have any type of orgasm
60% of women no coital orgasm (orgasm from penetration)

If you aren't orgasming during penetration you are completely normal, in fact you are more likely to not have an orgasm during penetration. So if 60% of women aren't having orgasms from penetration then why does everyone think that is the way it is supposed to be? It's unrealistic ideals and expectations which are the big problem here. We are not porn stars, we don't get paid to have an orgasm anytime we are touched.

I believe that a lot has to do with education. Women need to know more about their bodies and what feels good to them, not what you think is supposed to feel good. Most women require direct clitoral stimulation to orgasm. Here is where I get on my soap box and tell you to MASTURBATE, MASTURBATE, MASTURBATE!!!! Explore your own body! How can you expect someone else to do a good job if you don't know what gets the job done?

If you really want to orgasm with penetration try clitoral stimulation with penetration. Or you can try oral sex and stop right before you are about to orgasm and have you partner penetrate you. This can trigger an orgasm. Some sexual positions, like women being on top can also provide more direct clitoral stimulation. Again, be an explorer try new things and find out what works best for you... everyone's path to orgasm is a little bit different so try some uncharted waters.