Asking Anal

Question:
I am with a new partner and she doesn't want to have anal sex. My previous parter loved it and so did I. How can I convince her to have anal sex?

Answer?
Many people enjoy anal sex, but some people want nothing to do with it. So how can you convince her that anal is the bees knees?

Talk it over
Most importantly have a conversation about it. Why exactly is she giving the back door a no go? Is she nervous? Afraid it will hurt? Is it an out hole policy? Find out why she doesn't want to and if she is adamant about it then you need to respect her wishes. A successful sexual relationship involves trust and respect. Forcing someone or convincing someone is not the right way to go.

If she is into it but just nervous here are a few things that you can try

Practice before the big game
Pre-game is important. It gives your partner a chance to see if she is into anal play and it will allow her to become more comfortable. It may also peak her interest in anal sexIf she is nervous whether or not she will like it try working in some anal action into your sexual repertoire. Try rubbing, touching or even kissing the anal area. If she is enjoying all of this try inserting a finger, maybe a sex toy and work up to the penis.

Lubrication
Make sure to always use lube during anal sex or anal play. Unlike the vagina the anus does not produce lubrication or relax with arousal. You will need to lube up the penis (condom) and the anus. Make sure to choose a water-based lubricant like Astroglide or KY.

No backsies frontsies
NEVER put anything into the vagina that has been in the anus it will cause an infection. You can go from the vagina to the anus but not anus to vagina. This includes mouth, fingers, sex toys, anything. Always change condoms as well.

Try the reach around
Remember how good the reach around is for vaginal sex and stimulating the clitoris? This can be applied here too (For MSM you can reach around to the penis). Also doggie-style is not the only position that anal sex can be performed. Try different position and find out what is most comfortable for you and your partner.

Wrap it up
If you use condoms you should use them here to. No you are not going to get pregnant but there is an increased chance of creating small tears in the anus and this makes it easier to transmit STI's and infections.

Make sure to always stay in communication with your partner and check in to see how she is doing. Go slow and if she wants to stop...STOP! Remember have fun and be safe.

Note: This is the same for anal sex between two men or between two women.