Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Open Relationship?

My girlfriend wants to have an open relationship? We have been dating for awhile and I don't want to break up with her but she wants to be able to have sex with other people too. I don't know how I feel about it.

First of all let me ask you a few questions...
Do YOU want an open relationship?
Are you okay with her having sex with other people?
Are you okay with having sex with other people?
Are you a jealous person?

The reason why I ask you these questions is because in order to be able to have a successful open relationship both you are your partner need to be willing. Open relationships seldom work if you only one person wants it. Make sure you are honest with yourself and your partner. If you don't want an open relationship, don't agree to it. You will just be miserable and jealous. Make sure that you let your girlfriend how you feel about having an open relationship and your reason why you feel that way. If you are agreeing to an open relationship just because you don't want to break up, it isn't going to work, someone is going to get hurt and it is most likely going to be you. The best thing that I can tell you is to be honest and open and have a conversation about it. If it is something that you are interested in then make sure that you and your partner decide what type of open relationship you want. Is it just sex or is it dating other people as well? Make sure you are able to communicate what you are okay with and what you are not okay with.


Monday, June 28, 2010

Labia getting you down?

Labia getting you down? Do you feel as if they don't have that same youthful pinkish hue that they used to? Well have no fear My new pink button is here. It is a temporary dye/colorant to make your labia have have youthful glow that they used to. Don't worry just like foundation for your face you can pick from a myriad of colors to meet your vulvar needs.

I wish that I was kidding but this is indeed a product. Let me just advocate one more time that your labia (the inner and outer lips by your vagina) are not supposed to look like everyone else's. Vagina, vulvas, labia come in a variety of colors and shapes and sizes just like people and you should be able to feel good about your vulva. It is a beautiful area, grab a mirror and take a look sometime. Take a moment and get to know your vulva, say howdy to your vulva, a hello to your vagina and a wink and a nod to your labia. Vulvas come in every size, shape and color imaginable - don't let anyone tell you that you should dye it or change it!

Friday, June 25, 2010

And the word of the day is....

What is sporking? I heard this the other day and I have no idea what it is?

To understand sporking one must first understand what spooning is. Spooning is when you lie on your side and cuddle with someone also lying on their side. The person in the back is the big spoon and the person in the front that they are holding is the little spoon.

Sporking is spooning with a boner. Basically if you are spooning someone (a totally benign lovely activity) and suddenly the big spoon (the person doing the spooning) gets an erection then you are sporking. Think of it as a nice smooth spoon and suddenly there is a fork prong jabbing in your back.

Feel free to use it in a sentence...

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Are you a barsexual?

So a lot of attention has been given to barsexuals lately. What is barsexual you may ask? Well Urban Dictionary describes a barsexual as "A heterosexual girl or woman who partakes in any sort of sexual or promiscuous activity with another female to get attention from males. This usually takes the form of making out, and to a lesser extent, grinding or dry humping with another female."

I have to be devil's advocate here and just ask if everyone would be as cool with this if it was men kissing men to get women's attention?

Don't get me wrong I'm all about people expressing their sexuality however they want. If someone wants to makeout with 30 girls I don't care. There was a segment on the Today show about barsexuals (this made me giggle hearing Meredith Vierra say the term) and how it is detrimental to women. Ummm.... okay how is this detrimental again?

There is another term in Urban Dictionary that is used LUG... which is a lesbian until graduation. I say why does it have to stop at graduation? why can you only makeout in places that charge a cover? If it the thrill of having people watch you (exhibitionist) then okay I get it but if you feel that it is the only time that it is acceptable then maybe you should explore leaving the bar.

Let me share a little story with you. There were some friends would go and make out at bars all the time which was acceptable. One night they went home and continued the makeout session... this was unacceptable with the friends because now they were "hooking up." This somehow crossed some sort of line. Why can't they go home and makeout and continue the fun? I think people are so worried about having labels placed on them that they are afraid to explore their own sexuality.

So what is the take away message... Go makeout with whoever you want and don't worry about what others think or what that makes you. Sing it with me....

Friday, June 18, 2010

Testing, Testing, 1, 2, 3...

June 19 - June 27 is Get Yourself Tested Week! Make sure to get yourself tested to protect yourself and your partner(s). Testing is easy and quick and most Sexually Transmitted Infections (STI's) can be tested by just taking a urine sample so get to it! Get yourself tested!!!! To find a testing facility near you it's easy just click here

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

All the single ladies...

I am a single lady and lately I have had some "needs" that I wanted to be met. I met a guy and as two consensual adults, we have decided to have SAFE sex with no strings attached. I have shared this "news" with my married friends and they have told me I am a total slut. I am not sure why they are being so judgemental, as they are so out of touch with the "single life" and they don't even try to understand the needs of a single woman. Any advice????

First of all I would like to commend you for practicing safe sex. My question to you is what do you constitute as safe sex? Are you using a condom and dental dams for oral sex? If not then you are opening yourself up to sexually transmitted infections (STI's). Just remember that even though a person seems nice and seems "clean," people can be asymptomatic which means that they can have no signs of an STI and can pass along an STI without even knowing that they have it.

Now that I'm done with the safe sex part let's address your friends... who cares what they think? It is really easy for people to pass judgement on others. How long have they been married? Are they happy? Perhaps they wish they could get in on the single life again. Sex is fun and exciting! If they are going to judge you then don't tell them about it, share the news with friends that you know wouldn't judge you.

Just a word of caution to the no strings attached lovin'... as friends with benefits or bed buddies just be careful that this is benefiting both parties and not just you. It is hard for some people to separate emotional feelings from sex. It really depends on your attitude towards sex. If sex is something that always means love and commitment to you, it's probably not going to work for you to engage in no string attached sex. If sex is a casual thing to you, then I think it's possible that you can get together and not get emotionally involved.

Make sure that you talk openly about your expectations and concerns. If you can't do this then you probably aren't comfortable to get naked with them. Don't assume that someone feels the same way that you do, make sure you say it out loud. Also, be aware that feelings change, and check things out periodically with yourself and your partner.

It's not all doom and gloom if you feel that you can handle it and you are practicing safe sex then go for, go buck wild, HAVE FUN!

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

It's Super Penis - Multiple Male Orgasms

I heard that men can have multiple orgasms like women is this true?

It's a bird, it's a plane, it's super penis! Multiple male orgasms are possible but it may not be what you think.

How does it work
In men, orgasm and ejaculation are not mutually exclusive. Orgasm and ejaculation can be separate reactions. Orgasm does not always occur with ejaculation; it is possible to orgasm without ejaculating, also known as “dry orgasm” before having a final money shot ejaculatory orgasm.

Male and female orgasm experiences are physiologically similar and male orgasms are not determined by ejaculation. Masters and Johnson describe the sexual response in four stages: excitement, plateau, orgasm and resolution, which are true for both men and women. In comparison to the female orgasm, the male tends to follow a standard path of orgasm/ejaculation while women can have an “orgasm experience” having several orgasms.

Why haven't I heard of this miracle
Few studies have looked at the experience of the male orgasm because there is an all-inclusive view of the male orgasm. Sometimes orgasm and ejaculation are accepted as a single, non-differentiated event because they happen in a rapid succession.

Don't be mistaken
Men can mistakenly believe that being able to regain an erection soon after ejaculation and reach another orgasm within a short period of time or a short refractory period would qualify as being multi-orgasmic. This is not the case, a true multi-orgasmic male will not loose his erection between orgasms. Multi-orgasmic can also be confused with a linger plateau phase.

How can I get me some of that?
The ability to separate orgasm and ejaculation involves the pubococcygeal muscle (PC muscle). (This is the same muscle that women use for Kegel exercises). During the orgasm phase there are several contractions that signal the beginning of ejaculation. As these contractions occur stopping stimulation and squeezing the PC muscle should inhibit ejaculation and the refractory period thereby allowing multiple orgasms without ejaculation. You can practice using your PC muscle by stopping and starting the flow of urine while you are peeing.

If men are seeing ejaculation as the goal then they are missing out on the potential of multiple orgasms. Multiple male orgasms can be beneficial for themselves as well as their partners. As always enjoy and have fun again and again...