I am a single lady and lately I have had some "needs" that I wanted to be met. I met a guy and as two consensual adults, we have decided to have SAFE sex with no strings attached. I have shared this "news" with my married friends and they have told me I am a total slut. I am not sure why they are being so judgemental, as they are so out of touch with the "single life" and they don't even try to understand the needs of a single woman. Any advice????
Answer:
First of all I would like to commend you for practicing safe sex. My question to you is what do you constitute as safe sex? Are you using a condom and dental dams for oral sex? If not then you are opening yourself up to sexually transmitted infections (STI's). Just remember that even though a person seems nice and seems "clean," people can be asymptomatic which means that they can have no signs of an STI and can pass along an STI without even knowing that they have it.
Now that I'm done with the safe sex part let's address your friends... who cares what they think? It is really easy for people to pass judgement on others. How long have they been married? Are they happy? Perhaps they wish they could get in on the single life again. Sex is fun and exciting! If they are going to judge you then don't tell them about it, share the news with friends that you know wouldn't judge you.
Just a word of caution to the no strings attached lovin'... as friends with benefits or bed buddies just be careful that this is benefiting both parties and not just you. It is hard for some people to separate emotional feelings from sex. It really depends on your attitude towards sex. If sex is something that always means love and commitment to you, it's probably not going to work for you to engage in no string attached sex. If sex is a casual thing to you, then I think it's possible that you can get together and not get emotionally involved.
Make sure that you talk openly about your expectations and concerns. If you can't do this then you probably aren't comfortable to get naked with them. Don't assume that someone feels the same way that you do, make sure you say it out loud. Also, be aware that feelings change, and check things out periodically with yourself and your partner.
It's not all doom and gloom if you feel that you can handle it and you are practicing safe sex then go for, go buck wild, HAVE FUN!
These friends couldn't have all been chaste angels back in their single days. Some had to have had a young, partying lifestyle they are conveniently forgetting now....
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